Another story from outside the USA, I still haven’t satisfied my curiosity about what criminals outside the my country are doing. This might do it for a little bit. We’ll see!
Sometimes we have nights that spiral out of control. Maybe you ended up doing karaoke, eating fast food late at night, or drunk texting someone you shouldn’t be texting. For Anthony Stallard, it was deciding to be a ghost. And not for a movie or a play, just a casual “I’m in a cemetery, might as well” kind of way.
A 24-year-old from Southsea, Hampshire, England, who went out for what he thought would be a harmless night with mates – only to become known forevermore as Portsmouth’s very own “wooooo” ghost.
It All Started With a Few Drinks
As a lot of these stories go, it started with a few drinks. After an evening out, Anthony and his friends decided to head over to the Kingston Cemetery in Portsmouth, as most of us do.
After kicking a ball around among the headstones, the next logical step for Anthony was to become a spirit. And not one of those silent poltergeists that knocks over an object every now and then.
The Birth of the “Woooo” Ghost
Witnesses later told police that Stellard starting throwing his arms in the air and making extremely ghost-like sounds. Prosecutor Tim Concannon said in the Portsmouth Magistrates’ Court: “He was throwing himself backwards, waving his arms about and going ‘wooooooo’. I’m assuming he was pretending to be a ghost.”
Imagine walking through a peaceful cemetery to go visit a loved one when suddenly some random dude is making terrifyingly unconvincing ghost noises and waving his arms like he’s got ants in his pants, rocks in his socks, a woset in his closet… Either way, Stallard seems to be lacking some critical thinking skills, just like our lemon-juice robbers a few weeks ago.
When the Ghost Gets Real
Unsurprisingly, someone called the cops. Because even if you’re fine with someone playing soccer in a cemetery, ghost impressions in a cemetery might be a step too far.
Anthony claimed he was just having a laugh and didn’t mean any harm. Which is fair, in my opinion. We’ve all done dumb stuff after a night out. But the choice of venue (a cemetery) and the choice of performance style (loud ghost impersonations) meant that what started as banter ended with a judge saying “No, sir, you may not spook the grieving.”
Reactions
To me, this sounded straight out of a plot of Scooby Doo. This dude was only fined about $101ish dollars (£75), so clearly no harm was done. But still… I could just imagine Fred or Daphne appearing to summarize the plot and apprehend Anthony. Anyways, on to social media reactions:
This is the most British way possible to deal with the paranormal. Just try to paperwork it away. I can see the next council update: “All apparitions must wear high-vis and sign in at reception.”
The last thing I wantI need Simon Cowell squinting at a ghost like, “It’s a no from me. Zero levitation. If you’re going to haunt, at least commit to the bit. Where’s the chain rattling? The dramatic fog? Dreadful.”
Now if you want to one-up Anthony, you can get this Scream-style Halloween mask. And that’s all you need. Really.
Imagine trying to explain this bank transaction to someone.
“What’s this £75 for?”
“Spectral enthusiasm.”
I can’t begin to Imagine the training required to become a police officer. Physical tests. Written exams. Personality evaluations. High-speed pursuit simulations. And then this is your first case? “You can’t put “arrested a man for being spiritually unemployed” on a performance review.
Sources
3.) https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/ghostbusted—man-fined-terrifying-4018098#.U-UdrPldWJk
5.) https://www.ibtimes.co.uk/fake-ghost-tony-stallard-caused-grave-distress-cemetery-prank-1460210